Leah's picture of winter with icicles on the house, snow clouds, snowflakes and snowballs. She wrote "Winter" across the top. Her shake is evident but her letters are legible.
While talking with my mom on the phone, I was discussing the struggle and the challenge my daughter had before her. I was coming around to acceptance after a short bout with grief and shock at the fact that I could not fix this for her no matter how hard I might try. We were discussing the drawing she made in pre-Kindergarten that is posted above. With slight sadness, I said something like she will never be able to make her circles perfect without her shake. Just then she peaked around the corner from another room and I realized how wrong I was in making that statement and in failing to frame her ET with a positive attitude for the rest of her life. She believes in magic, Santa Clause and that everything is still possible and it is.
I will never forget those sweet eyes peeking around the corner looking at me as if to say, "Are you talking about me?" I decided I could not take the chance of talking about it around her and especially in those terms. It weighed heavy on me as I pondered what it is that I could do? How could I foster a positive attitude, especially, when you are working with a condition that gets worse the more you try? I remember the doctor saying the harder you try to stop the shake, the worse it gets. As the doctor is speaking to us, I noticed her own hand shook from an ET tremor. I said I guess she will not be a surgeon and the doctor said that is why I am not a surgeon.
The next morning I woke up to my little girl wanting to have her snow globe story read to her. With the pillows up against the wall and the two of us on her bed reading, we talked about school. I simply told her that I had a secret to how to do well in school -- take deep breaths and have a good attitude. Also, when she got frustrated she should go to her happy place, which she decided was her bed. Later that morning when she was leaving for school I asked, "What are you going to do to day?" She said "Take deep breaths when I get frustrated and go to my happy place." She left with her bright happy attitude beaming as she left for school with her dad and twin brother.
A couple days later while I was making dinner, she said to me, "Today, I went to my happy place. When I got frustrated with my brother, I went to my happy place."
"Did that make it better," I replied.
And she said, "Yes, it made her happy."
I am glad that it worked for other situations besides for ET. Now, I will be researching which weighted pens and grips that work for children. Children who write in big bold colors with crayons and markers. Any suggestions? Please post a reply or send an email to essentialtremor@hotmail.com
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